Sleeping single… a disgrace or just more space?

When you stop and think about it sleeping is really just a time to rest. It’s essential for good physical and mental health, and should not be neglected. Still there are many people who don’t manage to get a good night’s sleep each day. There are of course many reasons why this happens, but I’m just going to tackle the issue many couples have.

Women like to have a man at their side during the night. It’s a warm and secure feeling which probably provides a deep and more comfortable night’s sleep.

Men on the other hand actually have disturbed sleep when there’s someone else in the bed. The size of bed is irrelevant. It’s also irrelevant whether or not they’ve had sex before. The exact reason for this isn’t quite clear, but most men tend to sleep lightly when there’s a woman next to them.

Some studies have suggested that it could be an instinctive thing, kind of like the man watches over his woman at night. Whatever… 

So what, does this mean men and women should sleep in separate beds? Well 23% of American couples apparently do that. Perhaps that isn’t quite the best solution though. When it comes to sleeping a couple should be clear about what allows them to get a good rest and what disturbs them at night. 

Sleep is a selfish part of life. It’s about waking up refreshed and being ready for a new day, so cut the man some slack and avoid the usual “why are you giving me your back?” question, because it’s nothing personal, he just wants to get some sleep, that's the reason why.

Blackjack or bye Jack?

So when is it time to stop playing games? When does a man finally decide he’s had enough?

Well, obviously some men are more accepting than others. Why? Perhaps because they feel they have to be that way. Ironically those guys will always end up on the bottom of a women’s “to do” list. It’s only common sense, if something’s right there at your feet 24 7 you’ll kick it away because you know it will come back.

Girls have to always play their game, they wouldn’t ever want to appear too available or easy. So as soon as something begins to develop the game is on. While many men fear this challenge, others simply live for it. Yes, that’s how different men could be. Needless to say a man who normally has trouble getting women’s attention is going to hang on much longer. In most instances it’s the female who dominates this game, but certainly not always. Some men also play their game, and I’ll tell you it’s quite an encounter.

Guys could make it seem as though they’re totally infatuated with a girl when all they’re really after is just another conquest, perhaps something to enhance their ego. Sex is a man’s ultimate achievement, so it’s pretty simple, he gets her into bed and he wins. Therefore what happens from that moment on is kind of irrelevant.

So why do many girls still insist on playing their game? What’s a guy supposed to think at this point? Personally I believe everyone has their limits, and therefore if a girl keeps pushing it chances are he will lose interest.

"No strings attached" Is it a contemporary approach or simply an outrage?

Although I’m pretty sure it was a man who actually came up with that term, more and more women these days are exploring the reality of a no strings attached lifestyle. It might be a fantasy for many women, for others it could be a way of moving on after a serious relationship. Some women these days are simply too caught up with their career to get involved. 

I believe however, that the main reason women opt for this routine is because they fear the emotional distress a relationship could put them through. It could be due to a bitter experience or perhaps that of a close friend or family member. All very valid reasons in my opinion.

With men it’s a slightly different situation. The major benefit of a one night stand is that the responsibility ends right there. It literally fades away as the sun rises. Men are also exposed to sexual variety this way. Consider this, why would a man who lives in a city like New York with so many single people and a disproportionate number of them women want to limit himself to just the one? 

That’s exactly what a man would say to himself if he’s in a position to date different women on a regular basis. Obviously there are exceptions, and yes some men just want to avoid getting emotionally involved.

So is there really anything immoral about people living this way? I guess that’s subjective. Myself, I believe everyone should live by their own rules, and not those imposed by society.

Why is it always about sex?

So what is it with men always wanting sex? Is a man’s sex drive simply uncontrollable? 

Well first of all not all men or women have an equal sex drive. In fact sex drive is quite an individual issue, although generally in men it’s known to be rather high. There are other factors which effect both males and females. Such as people who maintain a healthy lifestyle, exercise regularly and avoid the consumption of alcohol, cigarettes and drugs tend to have a higher sex drive than individuals who neglect their nutrition and health in general. There are many instances where a woman is actually more sexually driven than the man, however women somehow seem to be much more in control and most times would only have sex if they feel it’s appropriate or are totally infatuated. 

So is it always men who initiate sex? Perhaps not always but a good 90% of the time it is. Why? 

Sex is also a means of expression, one which men find extremely convenient. Whereas a woman might feel she’s connecting with her partner by laying in bed at night and talking about everything that occurred during the day a man would much rather just get down to business roll over and sleep. 

The problem is that most men have trouble expressing themselves verbally so often sex appears like the ideal substitute. Many times it’s simply the physical attraction which creates that sexual desire in a man, and it’s absolutely no reason for a woman to feel insulted.

Girls just want to have fun, or is it guys?

So what exactly was Cyndi Lauper thinking when she wrote the song? Is she right, do girls just want to have fun? Nothing else?!

Here’s what I believe…

A female up to the age of twenty-five is considered a girl, anything above and she’s a woman. Before they reach that age most girls try to exploit every minute of their life, why? Because eventually they want a change. They want to settle down with one man and raise a family. So at some point girls are willing to give up their fun for something they feel is more significant.

Most guys on the other hand never really want to give up anything. We refuse to mature and grow out of certain behavior. Did you ever ask yourself why so many married men go through a middle age crisis? They reach forty-five, buy a convertible and are suddenly seen each weekend at almost every nightclub in town. Well obviously they feel like they’ve missed out on their share of fun, right? So when do men draw a line and decide it’s time to change? 

It’s rather inconceivable how males never really change throughout the years. The truth may be guys just want to have fun and have difficulty accepting limitations in life.

Commitment, a man’s worst fear?

Unfortunately ladies... it’s true, one of men’s worst fears when it comes to romance is emotional commitment. These days it’s even more evident than in previous generations. It seems men now have more personal ambitions and that is why relationships often get pushed down the priority list. It’s a highly competitive world, and to be successful you need to put in some serious time and dedication.

We fear commitment because it suddenly feels like our freedom is about to fade away. A man needs to be independent and know he can make his own decisions in life. He also needs to have space to uphold his personal interests.

So does this mean guys just never want to be emotionally committed? Absolutely not. When the right woman shows up things can become very different. If the chemistry is there then it’s simply a matter of climbing up that priority list. A healthy relationship should never create sudden drastic changes in a man’s life.

Okay so what is the secret for a man to finally commit? Very simple…

You just have to allow him to make the decision.

What are men really looking for in a woman?

Are men so superficial that we only look at the physical side of a woman? What is it that makes a female appealing to the opposite sex?

No use denying that the physical attraction plays a big role; however I’ll tell you this, no matter how shallow a guy may be there are various ways to get his attention. No I’m not talking about getting breast implants or visiting the gym seven days a week for that matter. You don’t have go out wearing a skirt which is just two inches lower than your belt, or wear a bra which is three sizes too small either. Most men are actually revolted by a woman who is begging for attention by dressing up in an indecent manner. There is a distinction between sexy and vulgar.

A confident woman, enough to face up to a man she likes is probably more captivating than any other physical female attribute. The way a woman talks, her style, even her choice of wardrobe is something men don’t overlook. In the end what men really want is a true woman, sophisticated, vulnerable and capable of satisfying her man.

let's get it started

Alright so I guess it’s no surprise, women are obviously keen to know what’s going on in a man’s mind and vice versa. I’m no relationship therapist, far from it, but let’s be honest, you don’t have to be certified to understand this game.

I was awarded the title of Mr. Romance in 2005, and ever since I’ve been striving to learn more about the romance novel industry and of course women.

So what have I accomplished so far? Well I can proudly say that I discovered another world, one beyond a woman’s façade, and it’s fascinating. I’m sure I still have quite a lot to learn about the opposite sex, relationships, romance and love, but I believe I can present a rather interesting point of view.

Perhaps I might sound a little direct at times, but you have to remember, Mr. Romance or not I’m just a guy.