So what exactly was Cyndi Lauper thinking when she wrote the song? Is she right, do girls just want to have fun? Nothing else?!
Here’s what I believe…
A female up to the age of twenty-five is considered a girl, anything above and she’s a woman. Before they reach that age most girls try to exploit every minute of their life, why? Because eventually they want a change. They want to settle down with one man and raise a family. So at some point girls are willing to give up their fun for something they feel is more significant.
Most guys on the other hand never really want to give up anything. We refuse to mature and grow out of certain behavior. Did you ever ask yourself why so many married men go through a middle age crisis? They reach forty-five, buy a convertible and are suddenly seen each weekend at almost every nightclub in town. Well obviously they feel like they’ve missed out on their share of fun, right? So when do men draw a line and decide it’s time to change?
It’s rather inconceivable how males never really change throughout the years. The truth may be guys just want to have fun and have difficulty accepting limitations in life.
Bravo! You said this so well and your insight is incredible! Thank you for sharing your wise words with us all! I will definitely keep checking back for more commentaries!
ReplyDeleteNice work Andrei!
Andrei, I agree with most of what you have said, but there are always exceptions to what people generally do.
ReplyDeleteMy life followed a different path. I married at 18 and had two sons right away. My girlfriends were all running around and I was raising a family. Sometimes they wanted what I had and sometimes I wanted what they had.
I can understand why men are in no hurry to settle down. The moment you have children their needs have to come first, and they should. Family is important, and raising them in a safe and stable home is important.
Women go through that middle age crisis too. I see that when I teach belly dance. Many times at that age the children are grown and it's the chance to do things you've always wanted.
In the best relationships a couple will find ways to have fun together and hold onto that all throughout their lives. It's very sad when work and other things crowd it out and it is lost.
And it is wonderful if your special someone is the kind of person who never entirely grows up, never loses their sense of fun. When every day is full of laughter and smiles.
well said Andrei.... It's great to hear it from a man perspective instead of a lot of grunts and growls that are usually followed by other mens brief explanations of why they just behaved that way.
ReplyDeleteHey like I told you before Andre. For me the fun has not stopped yet and I know I passed that 25 year old mark over 21 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI think its with both men and women there are some who want to have fun then there are some who want that love of someone only in their lives then you have some who settle down then as my ex did had a mid life crisis cheated and left a wife and two kids behind without a blink of and eye, I think you can have fun and still settle down when you heart is where it needs to be
ReplyDeleteWell for me, I have passed the mark sometime ago. But still, with my second marriage to a toy boy. hehehehe... I enjoy everything I do. He enjoys everything he does. There seems to be a time in life, providing you get in there and do it all, that you realise the simple things in life are often the best. It is the little things that have the biggest impact on one's life.
ReplyDeleteLife is for living, yes. But there is a time you live in a very different way. It is still as fullfilling. :)
I also agree that men as well as women go through a midlife crisis. I did, my new husband did. But we enjoy life to the fullest. The laughter is still around, and we find fun in lots of different things.
Oh, geez don't I rave... sorry guys.
Suz :)
Andrei, I agree with your post, but I feel that not all women share this view.
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, there were tons of girls whom I graduated high school with who immediately married as soon as their diploma greased their palm. But I on the other hand, knew there was something more out there than being saddled down. And I think alot of women feel the same way.
When I was 25, my mind was on everything, but children and marriage. I was having too much fun and was even encouraged by both of my parents to enjoy life and don't worry about getting married and settling down. My close girlfriends were of the same mind frame. So we did. We traveled, went out, and lived our lives without once looking at Brides magazine in the grocery aisle.
In fact, we even mourned for our girlfriends when they became married and bridled with children because they couldn't hop on the next jet to Cancun for Labor Day weekend.
Surprisingly enough, this mentality didn't change even when I hit the big 30, resulting in my turning down not one, but 4 marriage proposals over the years without any regrets.
Even now, I'm more of the mindset of having a great companion (a la Oprah and Steadman) because I still feel like I have so much more to accomplish and don't want to burden it by adding someone to the equation, who isn't going to enhance it in some way or form.
Of course, I would love to have kids and will one day whether it be through the traditional means or adoption. But funny enough its not an immediate need. But something I'm sure I would like to explore LATER in life.
Anywhoo, got to run now and have fun:) Great post, Andrei as always! I hope you keep them coming...
Koko Brown
Well said Handsome! And I agree.
ReplyDeleteMelissa Hayes
There are plenty of women who think settling down before 30 is foolishness, just as there are plenty of guys who want a family at 26. There are no absolutes, to be sure. The time comes when it comes.
ReplyDeleteI also fervently believe that it's up to the individual to preserve their own sense of freedom in a relationship. Freedom is a core quality that can't be compromised to another unless you give permission for them to do so (I think I've read Osho's "Love, Freedom, Aloneness" too many times). The trappings of freedom may be a car, or a blonde trophy girlfriend. But the rush of these fades away. What's left after that?
I would hope that most men mature enough to realize that love isn't bondage, or else we women are destined for lots of pain!
I fear there's a paradox here, though. Men want a special someone, but don't want to necessarily mature enough to accept the ramifications of such? Or, maybe I just need to drink a cup of coffee...lol.
Great post, Andrei!
ReplyDeleteThere are always exceptions to the rule, but I do believe that your prospective is pretty spot on. While I did have fun in my teen years, I did marry at a very young age – 19. But even though that brought more responsibility into my life, it did not inhibit my fun. It was a different type of fun. My hubby and I are best friends and enjoy doing many things together. We spent the first 8 years of our marriage traveling to places we both desired to see. And our young marriage did not stifle our dreams either. When children finally entered the picture, the fun in our family changed again. Just because I am not at the “it” nightclub every Saturday night, doesn’t mean that I am not having fun. As you age and mature, fun morphs into different realities. I'm looking forward to seeing what types of fun the hubby and I have in the future.
So, when do men draw a line and decide it’s time to change? ;)
ReplyDeleteBethie