Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Sleeping single… a disgrace or just more space?

When you stop and think about it sleeping is really just a time to rest. It’s essential for good physical and mental health, and should not be neglected. Still there are many people who don’t manage to get a good night’s sleep each day. There are of course many reasons why this happens, but I’m just going to tackle the issue many couples have.

Women like to have a man at their side during the night. It’s a warm and secure feeling which probably provides a deep and more comfortable night’s sleep.
Men on the other hand actually have disturbed sleep when there’s someone else in the bed. The size of bed is irrelevant. It’s also irrelevant whether or not they’ve had sex before. The exact reason for this isn’t quite clear, but most men tend to sleep lightly when there’s a woman next to them.

Some studies have suggested that it could be an instinctive thing, kind of like the man watches over his woman at night. Whatever… 

So what, does this mean men and women should sleep in separate beds? Well 23% of American couples apparently do that. Perhaps that isn’t quite the best solution though. When it comes to sleeping a couple should be clear about what allows them to get a good rest and what disturbs them at night. 

Sleep is a selfish part of life. It’s about waking up refreshed and being ready for a new day, so cut the man some slack and avoid the usual “why are you giving me your back?” question, because it’s nothing personal, he just wants to get some sleep, that's the reason why.


  1. It's not just the men that can be uncomfortable actually sleeping with another person in the bed. Cuddling and sex are not sleeping. They are an essential in a relationship but so are times of rest and recuperation.LOL I believe you are right in saying that guarding and protecting their woman is an instincive reaction in men.

  2. A good night sleep?That's a foriegn concept to me.I'm lucky if I get 4 hours a night unless it's my day off.I have a six year old daughter who likes to come in my bed in the middle of the night.So it doesn't have to be just between a man and a woman.Most of the time there are kids involved.

    If you ever need a bedwarmer Andrei,give me a call.I will send my daughter to my sister's house ;).

  3. In a new relationship you can't be comfortable and be yourself, when your body relaxes and falls asleep you don't know what will happen when you fall asleep and what noises will uh noises will come from your body... it's very uncomfortable to know that an awake partner will hear said noises, it kept me awake long after my boyfriends were asleep... now that I am married... I don't care... hehehe. It's nice to know that the man feels protetive over his women, it just kept me up even longer...

  4. You do make a good point there Andre. About the separate rooms for sleeping. Does that mean when you want to get frisky that you would have a third bedroom for that? LOL
    But I also understand the cuddling factor too.
    Like from experience men make nice heating pads. they are always very warm. you know like snuggly.

  5. LaBelleDameSansRegret429December 17, 2008 at 9:03 PM

    Trent Reznor once said, "An integral part of any relationship is knowing that you could be killed in your sleep at any time."

    Ah, Trent. Don't change. LOL.

    Lea, I love your comment. The third room shouldn't be a bedroom, it should be a boudoir, a den of iniquity. That would be awesome.

  6. This is very interesting, Andre.
    Sometimes I can go to sleep when cuddling if in a position where I'm listening to his heartbeat, so there may be something kind of primal about that, but mostly if we are cuddling it's more like falling into a light nap, not the kind of sleep you really need at night. And sleeping like spoons, well there needs to be a little um, space or no one is going to get any sleep. I wonder if this is why so many married couples have king size beds, so they can be on their own side soundly sleeping.

    Compromise is always a good thing, like say cuddling for ten or fifteen minutes to enjoy the closeness and then rolling over to sleep. Can't see why a woman would complain about that.

    Men put off such nice body heat and we women have cold feet in the winter. Not really fair to the guys to be using them as heating pads, nice as it is. I imagine between the soft curves and cold feet it is rather exasperating to sleep with us.

  7. Wow! You learn something new every day. I never knew that the man had a difficult time sleeping with someone else there. I can say I do like to snuggle up when I'm sharing the bed. And yes, it does make me feel a little safer but also I can reach over and know that I'm not alone.
    However, sleeping alone now I don't really notice if I'm sleeping better than when I had a man to share the bed.

  8. I sleep better alone than w/ a man. If they cuddle over, they make me hot. I have to be able to move. Besides that, they're heavier and that's not comfortable, not if I'm trying to sleep.

  9. I sleep better alone. Maybe because I've lived alone for so long I am now having a difficult time adjusting to another person in the bed. So the idea of separate bedrooms is very attractive to me. However, I also heard that psychologists advices couples to sleep together because this supposedly assists in the bonding issue which hopefully is one of the preventive measures against separation and divorce. Though this alone will not prevent separation and divorce of course. So I agree with Debra that a big bed is a good compromise if you want to keep the man but want to sleep as well.

  10. Bizarrely my husband can't fall asleep without me in the bed, yet by 4am he's grumpy and trying to take over the bed. Luckily I get up early to write so he can stretch to his heart's content.

  11. I'm a light sleeper and I sleep better alone. Right now, my husband and I are sleeping in separate beds bececause he's a "twitcher". Even though our bed is a Cal King, his legs are so muscular that he shakes the bed a little every time he twitches. Which jars me...

    I WANT us to sleep in the same bed, we've only been married a little over 2 years, but I can't get a good night's sleep when he does that. And then he starts to feel self-conscious about it and can't get to sleep, either, so it's a catch-22. I'm not really sure how to fix it. We've been to the doctor about it and it's just something he does.

  12. I love to snuggle up next to my husband. However, he's a human furnace and quickly gets banished to the outer edge of the bed. Thankfully, ours is king-sized, and it also helps to turn the heat in the house WAY down, or off.
    With him, it's not needed!