Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What are men really looking for in a woman?

Are men so superficial that we only look at the physical side of a woman? What is it that makes a female appealing to the opposite sex?

No use denying that the physical attraction plays a big role; however I’ll tell you this, no matter how shallow a guy may be there are various ways to get his attention. No I’m not talking about getting breast implants or visiting the gym seven days a week for that matter. You don’t have go out wearing a skirt which is just two inches lower than your belt, or wear a bra which is three sizes too small either. Most men are actually revolted by a woman who is begging for attention by dressing up in an indecent manner. There is a distinction between sexy and vulgar.

A confident woman, enough to face up to a man she likes is probably more captivating than any other physical female attribute. The way a woman talks, her style, even her choice of wardrobe is something men don’t overlook. In the end what men really want is a true woman, sophisticated, vulnerable and capable of satisfying her man.


  1. LaBelleDameSansRegret429November 5, 2008 at 8:47 PM

    I see this being true for men with brains, but the rest...?

    In fact, I've seen many men become downright repulsed by a woman with a strong intellect and personality. There is, in fact, a bit of an unspoken rule in the dating world that a woman shouldn't show too many smarts or talents in the beginning, lest she "scare him off". Vulnerability is interpreted as neediness or manipulation. Flash sells.

    Sadly, I think that a lot of men these days want "microwave dinner" love - hot, quick, and without much fuss or hassle. They reach for ego gratification. It could be argued that this is just true of less mature men, but I see it all the time in the numbers of guys that seek out girls (I mean GIRLS. 21 years to their 28 or older) or shallow women. Many under-35s don't want to actually THINK when it comes to romance.

    Then again, confidence and self-respect add immensely to someone's attractiveness. Plus, a man needs to feel needed, no? That's where vulnerability comes in.

    I suppose the ultimate attractor is a woman who blends the harsh with the soft, the commander with the coquette. It's all about the mix.

  2. As I get a little older, I see a lot more women whose confidence gets them dates and attention verses their girlfriend who's needy and lacks self esteem.

    Maybe that's because I'm married and not looking anymore. lol.

    Thanks for the post. :)

  3. That is true, there are the guys who just don't "get it" where relationships are concerned as well. That's just being human, I guess. :D A person's appearance is the first thing that is seen, so it usually is the first deciding factor in whether or not to pursue further acquaintance. Sometimes people are thrown together though, and unlikely as it might seem in the beginning if they hadn't been compelled by circumstances to communicate and get to know each other as people, they do develop an attraction.

  4. Hmmm. I have to think about this for a while. I've seen guys who think both ways, as well as those that lean one way or the other. I'm not saying one is bad or that the other is good. But who is to really say one person's view of women is wrong? For that particular person it works.

    Of course, you have to add that women do the same thing. I know I look twice at a guy with a great build. Maybe I fit in the shallow side of the group. But I am also very attracted to men with confidence and self-respect. I agree with the first comment that that adds a lot to the attractiveness.

    Love the idea of this blog. It's nice to see things from a male POV...


  5. LaBelleDameSansRegret429November 6, 2008 at 3:13 PM

    There's nothing as sexy as a man that thinks!

  6. Well, these are all valid points. However, what I might need to highlight is that even though some guys might talk differently amongst themselves, and sometimes give clear indications that they are currently just seeking an attractive girl for the night, ultimately we all want to experience a woman with qualities which go beyond a double-d bra size and a twenty-four inch waist line. In a similar way most women want to experience giving birth and raising a child, it’s instinctive.

    Yes, the attraction is a key factor in determining whether or not a man and a woman would engage, but it’s simply because that’s what in general brings the two physically close enough.

  7. I honestly believe that most men want to be in a loving relationship -- they just may not know how to achieve it. Sometimes the ego gets in the way if the woman is a strong woman whose portfolio is larger than his. And I think it is hard for most men to be honest and upfront with their emotions. But in order for a relationship to truly work, there has to be a spark. We can deny it all we want, but physical attration is what starts a relationship. Where you take from there is up to the two of you.

  8. I find it tremendously refreshing to have a man come out and tell us women that the real attraction isn't the size of our breasts, how much skin we show or how "wanton" we advertise ourselves. That who we are is just as important. Bravo!!

  9. Every woman should read the last paragraph of your post! No man wants a doormat or a woman whose personality is comparable to a limp dish rag. Even if you look like Beyonce, they will eventually move on in search of something with real substance after they've gained the superficial.

    Bravo Andrei!

  10. In my experience I have often discovered that alot of men do indeed like a woman that has her own mind. Like Andrei I agree that physical attraction do play a huge part, but in the end..it is what she has upstairs that counts. Women who are needy and dependent often find themselves alone. A confident woman is a woman that knows she can rely not only herself but her man and vice versa. In the end, you have to be yourself.

    Bravo Andrei Bravo. *smiles*


  11. LaBelleDameSansRegret429November 12, 2008 at 11:00 AM

    Riddle me this: in this day and age of instant gratification, what do you think of sex on the first date? Many say that a good relationship can't come from it, but that's not necessarily true. What is your take on the matter?

  12. In theory sex on the first date might not sound like the ideal, but the truth is there are no rules or regulations as to how a good relationship should commence.
    If it feels right then it probably is…

  13. This is such a catch-22 for me... I'm pretty confident most of the time, but when I'm with a man I'm actually interested in romantically, that's when I'm at my most nervous. I always wonder if it is visible.

    Thanks for the insight!

  14. Andrei, this is such a good blog. And surely we all want to be loved for who we are and not just what we look like or if we're good in bed.

  15. I think this is a great blog, and very true! I believe a woman’s confidence is what makes her. Her ability to believe in who she is, is truly what makes her sexy. However, I do love getting all dressed up sexy and showing the girls a little at times.

    Melissa Hayes

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  17. This is such a catch-22 for me... I'm pretty confident most of the time, but when I'm with a man I'm actually interested in romantically, that's when I'm at my most nervous. I always wonder if it is visible.