Sunday, June 28, 2009

Opposites attract

You’ve probably heard this over and over again, but do opposites really attract? Does this statement make any sense at all?

Perhaps it’s true in some cases but it’s definitely not the rule. What happens often is that curiosity overrides our true emotions and drives people to venture into something which seems interesting or mysterious. It rarely lasts a lifetime, in fact I believe more often than not it’s very much a temporary thing which eventually fades away.

There’s no question that it is human nature to explore and discover, however when it comes to relationships on daily basis it is crucial that a couple does share similar interests in some way or another. There’s enough compromise between a man and a woman under normal circumstances, let alone when they are seen as opposites. Simple things such as following a similar diet plan or a regular exercise regime can make life a lot more pleasant and easier.

How can you possibly merge two completely different lifestyles? Unless someone decides to change I’m bound to believe it will only last as long as the initial attraction does.


  1. Finally, somebody agees with me!! Yes, we are all curious about that with which we are not familiar. However, for the long haul, "till death til us part" relationship, we need to have the similar even familiar in out lives in order for the lifelong compatibility to exsist.

  2. Andrei,
    I agree, the unknown or different intrigues us. Like a side show, we're drawn to the attraction. But, like a nightly show, unless there are foundational similarities, the attraction will quickly fade.
    I believe that for a relationship to work, in addition to foundational similarities, there must be sharing, similar desires for life, and the opposites on a more minor scale.
    When I choose a critique partner in writing, I'm very careful as you don't share your writing soul with someone and not become friends. So, I look for people who I connect with on a personal basis, but someone whose strengths are my weaknesses. I believe this is how a relationship is built and will continue to one that endures.
    Great topic. Thanks for the mind inspiring thoughts. Enjoy your Sunday!
    Romance Edged With Danger

  3. Hmmm, I guess I view this from a slightly different perspective. My honeyman and I are opposites on some basic levels: he's analytical,logical, methodical and very much a "left brain" thinker, while I'm artistic,tend to do three things at once (often with no seeming rhyme or reason) and for the most part, "right brain" oriented.

    He has strengths in areas where I'm weak and vice versa so when you put it all together it works - what we both bring to the table combines into a sort of balanced unity.

    He might want to sit and watch endless hours of World Cup soccer while I tend to zone out after one game, but that's okay. Being a couple doesn't necessarily mean being glued at the hip 24/7 and perhaps that's where people make their biggest mistakes in a relationship. Just because you're emotionally committed to someone doesn't mean you toss your individuality into the waste bin. It simply means you CHOOSE to be with them, to build something together - yet always being free to build your own thing.

    And if you can manage that then being "opposites" doesn't really pose a problem. Like your tag line for this blog says .. it really IS all about the romance ... and the love.

  4. I think opposites can make a relationship so long as there are core compatibilities. Work ethic, financial goals, child-rearing practices -- those are issues I've seen people meld on when they otherwise might not seem compatible.

    Then again, "when love comes in and takes you for a spin," who knows what two people can make work!

    Nancy Haddock

  5. Hey sweetie,
    I do agree when you say opposites to attract.
    I been with my husband now for 26 years and believe me when I say we are opposite we really are, He can say apples and I'll say oranges*LOL*. But no matter what we are always there supporting each other even though we don't agree on certain things, but like I said no matter what it is. And when been married as long as I have you intend to be able to read each others minds. Kepp up this site swetie cause I love reading this page..

  6. i couldn't agree more,someone would have to share some of my same interests for a relationship to truly work

  7. Great post Andrei,
    I think opposites are drawn to each other, intrigued by their differences, but there has to be some common ground to blend them together and make the relationship work.

  8. All valid points. However as Nancy said, what I really meant is that I believe there's need for the "core compatibilities".

    Nevertheless I truly admire those couples who manage to keep the spark alive inspite of their differences. Perhaps it's true, some couples could balance each other out at times.

  9. Dave and I were just at the Lori Foster event and many of my on line friends met him. He is analytical, I am impulsive. He is calm and quiet, I loud and energetic. It's worked for 32yrs and 8 kids and two grandkids

  10. Opposites always attract...sometimes the magic keeps working, and sometimes it just fizzles. Just because two people are opposites doesn't mean they can't share certain interests as well as a love that is enduring. I think it would be very boring if a man had to be in the exact same place doing the exact same thing I was doing every minute of the day. I would love the idea that he was totally into me, and what I "do", but each person has to have something they "do" on their own. If the guy hates everything I do and only wants to share my bed, hey...nice to have met you...have a happy life with someone you can see eye-to-eye with occasionally. :P

  11. I am married to my complete opposite in almost every way and we've been married 28 years now. I won't say it's been easy. One of the things that has made it work is that we shared certain interests like travel, history, trying new foods and of course the things we worked together on such as raising the children, the house, etc.

    I wonder if people tend to go for their opposite more when they are younger and less when they are older. Must be a study somewhere on that.

  12. Sometimes what one might consider opposites are the very things that complement each other and make a relationship work, without letting the relationship become lifeless. Opposites work if both parties are considered of each others feelings, desires,needs,space and opinions. "tall order I know" But just think of physics, if you've ever played with magnets; you know that opposite poles attract and like poles repel each other.The Maglev or magnetic levitation, trains (Japan, China)use this principal and it can travel at speeds of up to 310 mph (500 kph),with an unparalleed safety records.You take that and translate it into a relationship with care , understanding, passion and love you're in for a amazing ride.Coming from opposites also means you have to either build common interest or learn to like something you might never have considered yourself. "can be a challenge, but hey life without challenges ?" I belive finding that someone, fighting for that one, holding on and making it work will never be easy. Nor should it be. That BTW goes for all combinations.

  13. Absolutely agree Fran.

    Leyla Akavova

  14. I'm in total agreement Andrei. It's like putting an ox and a racehorse in the same yoke. Will NOT work. :)

  15. I don't agree that you have to be with someone like you. I think that people can grow into anyone they want to be. I think that when you find someone worth fighting to be with, then you know it's what you want. I don't think that you need to be so similiar that everything works all the time without worry or hesitation. Wouldn't it be boring knowing what's going to happen all the time? If I were dating myself, I would get so bored I couldn't stand it. Everyone wants a challenge, it's just the question of wanting to work hard enough to be with it. Nothing is easy, if it was we would marry the first person we ever dated.