Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Call him Mr.Vain?

So just how aware are men about their appearance? Let me spell it out for you V-E-R-Y

Likewise so are women of course, but they get away with it, because they’re women. Double standards… whatever! Men on the other hand get tagged if they project that vision. No I’m talking about getting tagged on MySpace or facebook, I’m saying people will keep mentioning that he is a vain person. Possibly even call him narcissistic or gay!

Oh yeah… I get that all the time. Does it bother me? Absolutely not. It’s my job and I get paid to maintain my appearance, but obviously some people don’t appreciate that.

The truth is all men are vain irrelevant of what they try to exhibit. The same way every woman enjoys a man lusting over her, men want to be physically desired by women. It is our instinct to seduce in order to obtain sex and besides everyone takes pleasure in being the object of fantasy. It is also a fact that women lust just as much as men do. 
There is an obvious reason why men on the covers of romance novels look the way they do. Similarly girls on the cover of playboy magazine all look a certain way, to put it mildly.

It’s a game of seduction whether you acknowledge it or not. Many men live in denial though and sometimes attempt to compensate for the lack of self confidence with material assets such as cars. 
The definition of the word vain is excessively proud or concerned about one’s appearance. In my opinion this word often gets thrown around without much thought, because really, who isn’t concerned about their appearance?!


  1. People have a right to their own opinion.They are just jealous because you look better than
    them.Vain or not,as long as you are happy being the person God made you to be,don't worry about what they say.You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.Can't get much better than that.
    I love you the way you are.Please don't change
    for some haters that don't know the real you.

  2. I don't think a person who cares about their overall health is vain. There is nothing wrong with being pleased or liking the way you look. The problem is entirely the other person's. Maybe a guy is jealous of another guy because he looks better. That goes for women as well. Those of us who do not look like Playboy models tend to be a mite bit jealous. But I don't drive a pricey car to make up for my lack of self esteem. I do agree that it does happen though.
    And I also agree that there is a reason for the covers on books and Playboy look the way they do. The reaction by the readers!
    Everyone should be somewhat concerned by their own appearance.

  3. Your post is spot on. It's natural for people to be concerned about their appearance, especially since that's how most people judge each other when they first meet. The word 'vain' is definitely thrown around a lot more than is actually applicable based on the definition. Like Julianne and swtchx69, it seems that most of people tossing that word out are jealous of the people they're calling vain.

  4. Hmmm. Honestly, Andre, sometimes I wish we could all meet with bags over our heads so we would meet and fall in love with the inner person, not the outer. We'd be less blinded by our biology and maybe make better connections.

    A few years back I was in a car accident in Vegas, had three layers of stitches in my forehead and for that whole week had to go around with these black threads stitching me together making me look like Frankenstein's Bride. From the comments I got you'd have thought it was the end of the world.
    I am lucky to have had a good plastic surgeon do the work, the scar is only visible now if you know where to look for it.
    That week caused me to think about a lot of things. I wasn't horribly disfigured, didn't lose an eye, etc.
    The thing is, had I been, I would still be the same me inside.

    Yes, I want to look my best. And I will do all the things I can to be healthy and look as good as I can.
    I want to be beautiful. But I want that to come from inside as seen in my eyes, my smile, the things I say and do.

    And of course handsome men always catch my attention. But then I pay very close attention to what they say and what they do. To me, that is what makes them beautiful.

    And you, my friend, are beautiful inside and out. I am glad to have met you.

  5. LaBelleDameSansRegret429January 21, 2009 at 8:05 PM

    American men, however, can be downright lazy about how they look. The American male idea is one that eschews the concept of beauty as feminine...which, sadly, translates to weakness and homosexuality (how messed up. What the heck is wrong with being gay?!?!). They don't quite get it when tidy, attractive men get women and they don't. Many also exhibit an aversion to the arts because of these reasons.

    That's alright. Us gorgeous, intelligent women will keep on opting for the filet mignon - NOT the hamburger. They can keep on keeping on.

  6. "Likewise so are women of course, but they get away with it, because they’re women."

    Not always! It's actually nice to meet a man who cares about his appearance, because then we women don't have to put up with the sighing and eye rolling when we spend a little extra time on our hair and skin care, or when we go shopping for decent clothes. And who actually has an interesting opinion besides, "Yeah, you look fine."

    Sad fact is, most men would look pretty good if they took a bit more care in their appearance and having a healthy diet. Then maybe we could stop the complaining that women only want good looking jerks. Why yes, how dare we appreciate men who know how to look after their skin, comb their hair, and match their shirt to their trousers! :)

    Found your blog via Cobblestone Press, by the way (I'm one of the artists). It's a good read!

  7. Andrei it's very natural that many men out there envy you when you're clearly every women's fantasy.

    Great blog by the way!

  8. Andre,
    I know you. And I know there is not one Vain bone in your body.

  9. Andrei, when I met you I didn't pick up vain at all from you. What comes to mind to me was when we went to the dinner and some men were dressed in coat and tie and yes you did have on a suit but no tie, and you said "that's just not my style", I appreciated the fact that you were your own person and not afraid to wear what suited you and not other people.

    Yes, men that take care of themselves and have a care about that they look like I appreciate that, so many men don't give a hoot about what they look like. And let's face the facts the outer appearanace of a man is what catches a women's eye first, and visa versa. BUT, with me I want to dig a bit deeper and see what the person is like when they open their mouth. THAT will tell you whether or not their vain. Not all of us are model beautiful and we need to accept what God gave us, and strive to put in the extra time with our appearance,but what really bothers me is that some men that don't look past the outer appearance of a women. They don't take the time to get to know who we really are and beauty comes from within. If a person man or woman is confident about themselves and their appearance, sincere and honest, then I see the beauty within. You my friend are 100% male but your personality and sincerity is what I was attracted to. People waste a whole lot of time worrying that they don't look like runway models, or they're too heavy, too thin, I say just be yourself, love who you are, be kind to others no matter what they look like.

    Your tops darlin in my book so just keep on being yourself and doing what makes you happy. When your happy us gals are happy.

  10. A truly vain person only cares about them selves and not others. That isn't you.
    Vain people look down on others that don't
    measure up to their warped ideals.
    Thank goodness there are people like you that
    take care of their bodies and inspire us to do the same. You can't help that you send feminine hearts fluttering and other men don't. Their problem - not yours.

  11. I agree with LaBelle Dame. I don't know you Andrei but I think it's great you are doing this blog. I happened to find it after I got an email about some promo items from GRW Moonlight & Magnolias. Very enjoyable and I love the spice of controversy.

  12. Andrei,
    Have you ever read Fire In The Belly, by Sam Keen? It would be interesting to hear your take on it.