Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Fast love

I don't want to go into what George Michael was probably referring to in his song titled "Fastlove", but in a world where almost everything is literally a click away many seem to believe  that love could also be available in that form. 

No, I'm not talking about dating sites, that's a whole different ball game. What I'm saying is that true love cannot be on your "to do" list. 

When love is defined as 'an intense feeling of deep affection' it only stands to reason that time is clearly an important issue in this matter. You cannot develop such an intense feeling overnight, well at least not the kind of feeling that will last, or one that you can call love. 

Yes, we are all equipped with a phenomenal decision making tool called intuition, and nine times out of ten it is the most precise. However, sometimes people's impulsiveness can often override their intuition. 

This is where the problem lies. We live in a world where almost everyone, men and women, have placed their personal ambitions at the forefront. Now although there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it does tend to affect other areas in one's life. The reason is that we dedicate very little time to anything else, be it family, friends, or intimate relationships. 

So we may believe at times, with all good intentions, that we're relying solely on our intuition, only to find out that it was actually just a spur of the moment. Sometimes we just need to slow things down, it's that simple. 

This particular blog post is dedicated to a good friend, who might hopefully benefit from it in his personal life. 

Happy birthday Joseph!

17 comments:

  1. What a wonderful sentiment, AC. You never seize to amaze me. I too hope that your friend reads this and realizes how much you care and wish nothing but the best. Take care.

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  2. You love your friend and i see where your heart is. The one force in this vast universe that can not be defined reasoned anything. My feelings on this are: don't live for love, live TO love <3

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    1. That's a beautiful statement Leslie, "live to love"

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    2. wow, my first real big smile of the morn' thank you Andrei .. i always wonder what u see when u go about .. on the other side of the world u r .. <3

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  3. Profound Andrei...this totally resonates with me right now. Thanks for taking the time to put it up :)

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  4. I definitely appreciate that amazing post . Yeah ...Live to Love <3

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  5. Elvis said it best, 'Fools rush in.' Patience is a virtue for a reason. With patience, you miss less. Take your time. Breathe. Live. Get to know people, in general. Experience. Get to know even MORE people and eventually you'll find someone along the way you click with. Work on living, experiencing life, and loving yourself first--then somebody else. Nothing is set in stone and because we don't indefinately know what tomorrow will bring, we should make the best of the right now instead of worrying ourselves over the later.

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    1. Absolutely! Oh, and I love that Elvis song by the way

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  6. Intuition is an emotional response.

    With all due respect, you must remember that emotions are the product of your values. Ultimately, your reactions are predicated on what you established as important. That is why introspection is critical, to do your checks and balances to make sure your values are grounded to objective reasoning. Otherwise, you are at the mercy of erroneous conclusions made based on negative experiences.

    This all sounds very intellectual, but I assure you that all aspects of emotions are exactly that, an intellectual process. By digging deep into the premise of your emotions you will begin to see where the contradictions lie that could be causing you to feel things that in retrospect are over-the-top. Once you identified the issue you can begin the process of fixing what might be going wrong (e.g., changing your behavior and reestablishing rational priorities). It takes conscious effort, but it can be done. Over time, it becomes second nature and then, and only then, can you really rely on emotions to help make decisions.

    Think of it this way: Emotions are the shortcut to determine what is important to you. Introspection (or reflection) is the thorough means to determine what is in fact important. So long as you've already established that your values are grounded on solid principles, then following your emotions is all good. Just make sure to do your checks and balances periodically to avoid slipping into irrationality, which only leads to misery.

    Just my two cents.

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    1. That's a very interesting point, Rosa. Thanks for you input.

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  7. Sometimes I would like to live somewhere in Middle Ages, where life were much more easily: people lived their lives without haste, without current wild energy that drives us forward without any possibility to stop. Just because if you'll stop for a moment someone else will take your place. Life today is a competition. People compete in every sphere of our life. People forget how to live life.And this applies to intimate relationships too. Today people wonder how one man could live his whole life with one woman. Even 30 years ago it was normal. Today they said: there are so many women around, just take a chance. Nobody thinks about future. You are right, Andrei. Love cannot develop overnight. Love needs time. This is sad true of nowadays. If you want love you have to give it time. And this is the only thing that people haven't. All the things they want, they want now. All I can say to such people: Sorry, guys.

    Leyla Akavova

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  8. Oh that´s so wonderful written and said! And name a lot of things I wrote about in my Love issue blog last year. Love to much tend to be a game or "freetime-activity" or even a calculated part between buisness ... to me Love means so much more and something complete different ... Good luck to your friend and to you. Great post! Claire

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  10. The intense attraction is at the beginning, but time will tell if anything substantial remains after the first six months. Apparently the average honeymoon phase is two years, so after that you REALLY know...

    I agree though, it's important to slow down...

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