Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sometimes it stops, sometimes it flows… but that is how love goes

Although the L word gets thrown around a lot in relationships, the truth is that love tends to go through somewhat of a pattern. One day it feels really intense while another day it seems to fade away. Women would rarely admit this during the relationship because they fear it might trigger off a break-up, but many times it’s rather evident. That doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is going downhill, however if it occurs frequently then it’s probably a different story.

It is a sensitive subject and is not often the topic of discussion. In fact it is almost like a secret everyone tries to keep to themselves. Sometimes we find ourselves absorbed with personal issues, other times we might disagree on something and argue relentlessly, or else we may simply feel like we need our own space for a while. During such times it’s not easy to deal with intimacy. There’s only so much we can take in at once, and if we’re caught up in thought, be it a personal problem or a recent argument it can definitely hinder the feelings we have towards our significant other.

Perhaps it just doesn’t seem rational to most people how feelings can appear to change so drastically in such a short time. There are things in life which we just cannot always grasp, but sometimes you have to accept them the way they are and move on.


  1. very true, I know I need time to myself each day to do my own thing and to destress if I've had a trying day. you are very wise my friend.

  2. Loving someone is different from "being in love". If you are "in love", you can often fall "out of love" just as easily. Loving a person is far more than physical or emotional. It goes way deeper. It goes beyond the surface. It's like two parts of one puzzle, locked securely deep inside, letting the surface issues fall where they may. Fights. Frustrations. Jealousy. They all happen. Discouragement is another surface thing that comes and goes. But when you look into that person's eyes and see yourself reflected with a depth of caring that you can't ignore, it unlocks itself once again, and opens to allow the other inside once again. I want to love someone like that. I want to be loved like that. And when it happens, it will happen. It can't be rushed.

  3. Andrei, you are very deep. Not many men will talk about their feelings in such a heartfelt way. I've been married for nearly thirty years and my wonderful husband has said 'I love you' about ten times only.
    However, I know he loves me in my heart. It's in the way he gets out of bed each day and brings home the bacon, gives of himself without issue, stands by me when illness strikes, through rich or poor and so on.
    I don't expect to hear the words. I just know he does love me.
    He's making ribs for dinner. Since you're in New York, Ontario is only a hop/skip/and a jump away. Come on over.He's an awesome cook. LOL
    Hugs, and thanks for the wonderful blog
    Franny Armstrong

  4. love is more of a concept than the word alone can many different levels and degrees of love, and i am amazed at the fact that you are so open to speak about your insights...thanks for your words


  5. No, love certainly cannot be rushed. Also, I believe what Franny means is that actions speak louder than words, which I totally agree with!

  6. I agree with what's been said. Particularly the 'in love' vs 'loving' someone and the actions speak louder than words. Hearing the words I love you is nice, but, working in healthcare, I've known men who say this all the time--especially after they've just hit a woman or cheated or you name it. That isn't love no matter how many times a person says so. As Franny mentioned there are men who rarely say I love you with words, but how they live their everyday lives shows that love time and again.
    There are days that loving someone is easier than other days, but love, real love, doesn't come and go. It's real and it lasts forever. After being with my husband for 23 years I believe that with all my heart. Not because every day is a page out of a romance novel, but because turning life's pages with him by my side makes finding out what happens next all the more exciting and meaningful.

    Probably shouldn't write so late at night, when I likely am not as coherent or concise in my thoughts, but regardless, excellent post, Andrei. I very much enjoyed reading your thoughts and those of the other commenters. :)

  7. I'm elaborating a little upon Janice's comment, regarding real love not coming & going. When you love someone, the feeling doesn't go away. It's your enthusiasm for life that changes. I think love is when you stand by someone & whether the storm together. Stand by while a son is ill, during the death of a loved one, during all lifes personal trials. If 10 years have gone by,you look to the side, and your partner is still with you, that's what I consider love. Every "day" will not be a happy one, but every day can be a memorable one.