So what’s happened to simply going out and buying a new handbag and a pair shoes after a break-up? It seems nowadays women are seeking comfort in slightly larger accessories.
There’s no question that for most women a break-up can be hard to deal with. While some tend to almost immediately bounce onto some other guy, many others make use of this time to discover themselves, some take that discovery process a step further and go through an entire wardrobe transformation and often also change their ride.
It would very prejudiced to say that this is a woman’s thing though, matter of fact numerous men give extreme importance to the car they drive, and it’s certainly not because they want to ensure a comfortable ride wherever they go. The reason is that some men believe others could possibly envision the car they drive as an extension to their personality. More often than not of course this couldn’t be further from the truth. Cars these days are almost like shields for many people, used to protect the vulnerable and insecure person beneath.
People in general are competitive in their everyday life, and every man and woman likes attention, particularly from the opposite sex. What most fail to understand is that the way you work for that attention is not in the office or at a construction site, but by developing a well rounded person who’s confident and ready to confront the world.
Welcome back. Great blog. :) You are right. If we spend more energy changing our outlook and becoming more self confident, we could quite possibly find within ourselves a better person all around. A new car is thrilling, but it doesn't change anything but what we park in our garage at night. If we must change something to feel better, let's work on ourselves. It costs nothing, and it might help in the next relationship.
ReplyDeleteI drive a gold corolla does that mean I am shiny but low maintenance and practical?
ReplyDeleteWell, Leonardo Di Caprio drives a Toyota Prius!
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean I have been doing it all wrong? That in order to have a successful relationship, or to move from one to another, you need to spend alot of money to reinvent yourself? But I like the way I am. Besides I can't even afford an old clunker, let alone a nice new car. And forget about a new wardrobe, I can't afford, or have the room in my closet for more clothes.
ReplyDeleteWow, I never thought of that,I drive whatever I can afford but then I'm happy with myself just the way I am. great blog Andrei.
ReplyDeleteHi Andrei,
ReplyDeleteThe guy/car connection has been a topic of discussion for years! I have a Toyota Solara that was highly recommended from several friends, my mechanic and my ex-husband. A friend who was an inside connection in the auto industry at the time told me that it was designed by Lexus and then put on hold as they were not adding any new models to the line so Toyota built it. Have not had any problems except for the rear-view mirror falling off from the high heat here in FL. A bit of epoxy and the right size Allen wrench and it's back where it belongs!
I wanted a car that was dependable. It's comfortable and looks nice too, but I don't stress about it as it is only a car. A tree fell on it during hurricane Wilma and the top sustained a few dents. Fixed those and still doing well!
SO Andrei, what kind of ride have you chosen?
Be well and enjoy your day.
Hugs, Lisa ;-)
A miata :-)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Great blog Andrei...I don't stress about relationships, I have Andrew! I just go with the flow. A new car would sound nice in a year or two, maybe another new truck. But for now I'm happy with the way things are and my life, all though I do agree that both men and women go to extremes to make changes after a break up. But it also depends on that break up and how long they have been together. So who knows what people are thinking?
ReplyDeleteNice post. Can't say that I ever emptied my bank account after a breakup...and cars don't interest me that much anyway, as long as it gets me where I need to go and back. But I do prefer bigger, rather than smaller... I'm still talking cars here. Sorta.
ReplyDeleteA Break-up ? The reward, a car ? Sounds like a good reason to call it quits to me. No not really... LoL
ReplyDeleteTo many people relate the important to that which isn't. It's like all the years that I worked with Brides. Women would absolutely become creatures, lose their mind, spend every penny they had then and for the next several years trying to creat the perfect day. No really, the perfect day doesn't exist. And honestly, the actual wedding day, is not what's truly important. what's truly important is the relationship, which so often took a major backseat to the one day event. The wedding doesn't not define the love of the couple or the state of the relationship.
It's the same with a car or any other major purchase, it's not important. It doesn't define us. It's such a small part of what is truly important. When we work so hard to defint ourselves by the unimportant, oftentimes others find that we're desparately hiding our preconceived inadequacies. Think I'll stick with something dependable and practical.
Changing your dress, your shoes or your car does not change your person. These things can be fun, but they are sometimes given too much importance.
ReplyDeleteIf we could each be truly ourselves, know what we want and who we are... to be so wholely yourself that you are the same person alone in the dark as you present to the world,....I think then we'd have less trouble pairing up with the one who is right for us.
Insightful blog, Andrei. It is true that no matter how expensive or type of car you drive or clothes you wear, those things don't make you the person you are on the inside. Knowing yourself and being comfortable, as well as confident, with who you are is really what's important. That takes time to figure out.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it doesn't matter what kind of car a man drives (although I will admit a nice car is a plus, but not required). As long as we can have intelligent conversations, laced with a bit of humor, and he takes pride in doing his job well (no matter what it is), that is what I find sexy and attractive.
It is too bad that many people place more importance on the material possessions, rather than what that person is like on the inside.
Hmm...enlightening take! Times are evidently changing from drowning ones sorrows in a pint of ice cream and soaking your best friends shoulder...lol.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog Andrei~
Andrei,
ReplyDeleteAs usual, your blog was thought provoking. Of course, after any relationship breaks up, I think taking an honest look at oneself helps one to determine if there is anything that needs to change so that a future relationship would not end the same way. I found that the easiest (and hardest) thing to change is ones attitude!
Well I don't have a car yet and I don't want to. So what does it mean? Oh I am not a man, sorry:) But seriously my best friends will be books and magazines and computer next two years (I write a thesis).
ReplyDeleteBut it doesn't mean that when something go wrong in my life I run to the nearest shop or something I do not like shopping at all. Yes I don't!!! I am sitting at home and listening to the music, reading books, watching movies or trying to find a mistake.This selfexamination is really help to understand what am I doing wrong and fix it. So I agree: if we want the best future for ourselves we should work on ourselves.
Leyla Akavova
I really enjoyed this blog! I will be sure to pass this on to our DCL readers. I have to say though I am really not competitive with other people be it male or female. If a realtionship went sour, I always am most hard on myself and wonder what I could have done different. Buying something might give me instant gratification but it still doesn't solve what issues I might have with myself. If you don't have that inner peace with yourself then you can just forget about finding it in a realtionship. lol xo's
ReplyDeleteAndrei, this is a comment from Kate Hofman, who had trouble posting. "I just read your very interesting blog. You're quite a writer! Did you ever consider writing books?"
ReplyDeleteInsightful as always, Andrei! I always enjoy reading your thought-provoking posts and wish we had more men (and women) that really took the time to think about things like this and realize it is the inner person that matters most.
ReplyDeleteA very interesting topic Andrei. Can't say that I fit into any of those categories. I never bought new clothes or purses after a breakup. And most certainly not a new car. And I never really just jumped to the next man. I have however wondered about what I (we) could have done differently to maybe have made things work out. But after some thought, have come to the conclusion that the relationship was not meant to be.
ReplyDeleteI see plenty of men driving cars considered sexy. Like mustangs or other sports cars and often wonder if he's trying to draw attention to himself or just the car. The car isn't important, its the man inside. And to say I'm a well rounded person, well I'm definately round. LOL!!!
Okay, I drive the cheapest car that I can find that will run and has an air conditioner. Vehicles just aren't that important to me. The one I drive now is used and cost me $750 it's lasted 4 years so far so if it breaks down I can just get a new one. However, I DO buy jewelry, purses, and shoes when I'm depressed. Recently my grandfather passed away (Last week) and two days after his death I got a tatoo. LOL Normally I also dye and/or cut my hair. :D
ReplyDelete